A Message From My Shrink
by Dorchester
Summary: The sequel to "Visits With My Shrink". Edward is not the one who needs a shrink, not anymore. It's somebody else.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns the original characters.

**Special thanks to: **Nancy, Lotty, Loopy Lou, Vanya - you know it, ladies, you're extraordinary.

**A/N:** To my precious readers: Thank you for being with me while I posted the "Visits With My Shrink" story. This is the sequel. Make sure you have read "The Vulture Gang" outtake first, before we go on with present time.

**A Message From My Shrink Chapter 1**

"You still can't manage to recall anything from the accident, Edward?"

"You _know _I remember almost nothing, just the sound of the screeching metal around me. I still don't remember seeing that car or the woman who died."

"Yes, I thought so. That memory is probably constantly wiped from your mind. This is what I call a good coincidence; it would be killing you if you remembered."

Dr. Cullen's pager buzzes, and he looks at the tiny screen.

"Edward," he starts, and then keeps quiet for a few moments.

Something is telling me our session is over now, a bit too quickly.

"I should go. I have a visitor. You can stay here or you can leave, it's up to you."

_I'd rather not leave, I can wait. The chair is really comfortable. I'm drowsy._

_Silver and white rays of blurry sunlight blind me, and my mind drifts away… So cozy and warm, so warm… I'm experiencing immense pleasure; softness and moisture, heat and fireworks, beauty, pure bliss..._

_"I love you, Jasper."_

_"And I love you, Edward."_

_I can die now. Who could ask for a better death?_

I'm not dead, of course. I've been dreaming. The hand on my shoulder brings me back to reality.

Cruel, isn't it?

"So, you're still here." Dr. Cullen takes his place behind the desk. "Sorry for interrupting our session. We can continue, if you want to."

I rise to my feet, feeling a bit groggy and unstable.

"I thought our session was over."

"Why did you stay, then?"

"I don't know exactly, doctor. I like it here. I like the feeling of unloading a burden. I get this feeling every time I'm in that chair." I point to the leather covered seat. I'll miss it. "I breath easier after every session."

"That means I am doing my job well. I have a very important last question for you, though."

"What else do you want to know, doctor? I've already told you everything."

"Just one last thing, Edward, and I must admit I'm more curious as your friend, and not your therapist." He holds his breath and waits for my affirming nod. "Do you plan on meeting Jasper? After you're free?"

Do I plan on meeting him? No. Do I hope? Yes. Yes. And it is going to happen, someday.

~""~

They are waiting for me in the parking lot, like in my dream, but Mom is not here. It's Emmett and Rosalie - a very pregnant Rosalie. She hugs me, her big belly standing in our way, and it's my first opportunity to congratulate her.

"Hey, Rosie. Sorry I couldn't make it to the wedding with my busy schedule. Congrats. And for the baby, too."

She gives me a sad smile and nods. My wedding joke is not funny.

"Thanks, Edward. We're gonna have a little man. Emmett's already got him his first baseball cap, with a big J on the front. We've decided to name him after his uncle."

"Emmett's going to be a great dad. I've thought that since the first time when you... shit, sorry. Didn't mean to be rude."

"It's okay, Edward. We're happy now. The little one will be born in three weeks, no worries."

And I will probably be seeing _the uncle _then. I'm going to be there when Emmett becomes a father. _The uncle_ will probably be there when his sister gives birth to his nephew. Shit. I have three weeks.

"Come here, man." Emmett's booming voice interrupts my thoughts. He gently pushes Rosalie aside and stands in front of me. "Good to have you back, dude, good to have you back. You look like a ghost, by the way."

"You're not going to offer me sunglasses?"

"Why should I? Oh, never thought of that… sorry, do you need mine?" Emmett scratches at his head, apparently not getting it.

"Nah, don't worry. Something just popped up. Thought you might ask if I was becoming photosensitive."

Yeah, not funny. Emmett flashes a suspicious grin and heads for the Jeep.

Fuck, what am I gonna do with my life now?

~""~

And it ends up being not three weeks, but two.

My phone rings late Tuesday afternoon, and Emmett's excited voice shouts in the receiver, "It's time, the baby is coming! We're in the hospital, Rosie's water broke!"

I'm so not prepared.

During the last couple of weeks, I've kept my hands and my mind busy redecorating my room. There are new shelves installed, and I've been stockpiling books, mainly textbooks. I'm looking forward to my GED exam. And I'll be looking for a job, if anyone will employ me with my prison record.

I have yet to re-bond with my Mom, though she tries to act normal and be sympathetic. I know she wants to make things better. "My son," she tells me, "my beautiful son. I can't believe you're back." I can't believe I'm back, either.

Alice and Bella visited once. I cried once more, but this time I listened to their story. Now I know how much in love they are, spitting on people's narrow minds. Bella tells me she spilled my secret to Alice on a drunken night.

"I can't be mad at you, Bella, not after what we've been through. I owe you my sanity, you know. You and Dr. Cullen. I'm only mad at you for drinking, and you know why."

"I know Edward, I know." A tear rolls down her cheek, and I know we're good. I love that girl in a special way.

I force myself not to think about _him_. I avoid his name. I haven't said it out loud since I don't know when, and now I'm blocking it from my thoughts, too. I've made a promise to myself to think of a strategy for our meeting before my three weeks are gone, but here comes the news of Rosie in labor, and the strategy has not even started to appear in my mind.

_Shit! What do I wear? What do I say? What do I do?_

I'm not going. That's it, I'm not going.

I'm so not prepared.

**A/N:** Are you staying for the rest of it?


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns the original characters.

**Special thanks to: **Nancy for betaing, Lotty and Loopy Lou for pre-reading, Vanya for being my inspiration.

Thanks to all my readers who did hit the 'follow' button, and especially to those who were brave enough to hit 'comment' and say they're staying. I love you for giving me feedback!

**A Message From My Shrink**

**Chapter 2**

There's no point in self-persuasion if your feet have a mind of their own. A minute after Emmett's call, I'm running out of my room, not even caring about my low-hanging pants and ragged sneakers. There's a hole in the sleeve of my top - I should've changed it. Or not? Who cares about my outfit? It's spring and it's a bit cold. I might have taken a jacket; now I'm going to freeze while waiting for the cab.

There's the ridiculous feeling that I'm late for something. Not that the baby will be born before I get there. Not that I'll miss Emmett's victorious smile while he, the proud father, pees his pants. I'm missing the precious moments of seeing Jasper.

Yeah, the name surfaces in my mind now, and I'm thrilled as hell and impatient like a kid on Christmas Eve. I'm not even scared, and my mind is floating. The hell with the strategy; I'll act upon circumstances. If he doesn't acknowledge me, I'll step in. I think I've got my balls with me. Yeah, I've got them. Sure thing.

Two and a half hours later, I bring hot drinks for Emmett's mom and Mrs. Whitlock . The three of us are in the lobby waiting for the good news.

There is no sign of the uncle-to-be, as he's with his father, who is very sick today. He might come later, if everything is fine at their place. Jasper is missing the birth of his nephew, and I wallow in my own pathetic disappointment. I sigh and pace nervously, and when the two ladies eye me suspiciously, I explain my behavior with my excitement

Finally, thank God, I see Emmett with a victorious smile. He approaches, holding a camera in his hands. His eyes are tearful, and the unsteadiness of his stride brings tears to my own eyes.

"He's perfect. Full set of fingers and toes, and huge balls." I love my friend's idiotic happy smile. "And Rosie, she's gorgeous. Wanna go see them?"

While the two grannies hurry down the corridor, I hesitate.

"Maybe I should give them some time, right?" He nods and gives me some more of that smile. "Congrats, Emm, I knew he would be perfect."

"Do you want to see the video?"

Before I even open my mouth to answer, he pushes the play button and shoves the little screen of the camera in front of my eyes. Before I have the chance to tell him I can't watch it, I'm seeing the first moments of the birth. The sight of blood does strange things to me since the day of the accident.

"Sorry, can't watch this, Emm," I manage to blurt out, while suppressing the rising bile. I desperately need fresh air. "Sorry."

I try not to run through the hospital corridors. Three flights of stairs and I'm at the exit, longing for the cold breeze outside. Seems I'm not going to throw up, and with another step I will be out.

Then I bump into somebody. And I mean _some_ body; muscular, toned, and warm, under a white tee. I inhale the scent of cotton, leather, and something else; something magnificent and very familiar. Five seconds later, I puke all over the white tee.

"Should have known better than to put on a white shirt again." I hear Jasper's voice coming from another universe. "Step aside, there's a lady coming."

So much with the balls. I'm jelly.

"Move, Edward. She's coming our way and we're blocking the doors." A finger touches my chin and lifts my head up, the empty look in his eyes piercing through my very core. "Move."

Could this have gone any worse? I step aside, avoiding his stare for a moment, and bury my fingers in my hair. _Shit, I'm a moron. Maybe he thinks I'm drunk again._ When I look back to him, his eyes are exploring the lobby, and stop at the sign to the rest room. He heads that way, while I follow and try to explain.

"I'm not drunk this time, I swear. I'm dizzy from the visual of your nephew coming to the world."

"He's born already? Shit, I missed it."

"Yes, he is. Emmett's got a video, but I don't recommend watching unless you're very brave."

This is unreal. We're discussing his nephew's birth, as if the past eighteen months haven't happened. It becomes even more unreal when we enter the rest room. He shoves his leather jacket into my hands and pulls the stained shirt over his head. I'm speechless in front of a naked torso, and all coherent thought is wiped from my head. The shirt flies to the nearest trash bin.

"Can I have my jacket back?" I haven't noticed Jasper's outstretched hand.

"This is too much," I mumble.

"What's too much?"

"You, coming back into my world half-naked."

"I'm not coming back into your world."

It's now or never. I clench my fists and take a deep breath.

"Yes, you are." _At least, my balls are back._ "I'm not even asking you about the reasons you've stayed away from me. I think I know what you may answer. And I'm sure I can show you that you're wrong."

Jasper shrugs, puts the jacket on, and pulls the zipper up to his chin. For several endless minutes, we're silent. I stubbornly stand in his way, and he can't leave rest room, even if he tries.

"Talk to me, Jasper. I can't believe you're totally indifferent."

"I'm not."

I notice his eyes are darker, an unknown emotion shading the beautiful azure.

I continue talking before my courage evaporates. "Now listen, my love..." His eyes grow wide, and he shakes his head but keeps quiet. "We can start over, I know we can."

"You're not even asking, are you?"

"I'm not, because I know it for sure. And I love you."

"What if I'm seeing somebody else, Edward?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns the original characters.

**Special thanks to: **Nancy, Lotty, Loopy Lou and Vanya. My lovely darlings, thank you!

Thanks to my readers who follow and review this story. I am sure you know this means a lot.

_"Talk to me, Jasper. I can't believe you're totally indifferent."_

_"I'm not."_

_I notice his eyes are darker, an unknown emotion shading the beautiful azure._

_I continue talking before my courage evaporates. "Now listen, my love..." His eyes grow wide, and he shakes his head, but keeps quiet. "We can start over, I know we can."_

_"You're not even asking, are you?"_

_"I'm not, because I know it for sure. And I love you."_

_"What if I'm seeing somebody else, Edward?"_

~""~

**A Message From My Shrink**

**Chapter 3**

This is the moment when the opening door hits me in the back. A booming voice startles me even more than the impact.

"Dude, I've been looking for you all over the place. You okay?"

_Oh, Emmett, perfect timing, dude, thanks_. I tell him I'm alright, and he's already speaking to Jasper, having just noticed the other person in the room. My heart thumps its way out of my ribcage.

"Hi, Jay, glad you're here, man. Come on, let's go upstairs and introduce you to the little one. He's perfect. I'm telling you, you're gonna love him as soon as you see him."

I watch in awe how Jasper's eyes go back to their natural blue. His pose changes into a more relaxed one, while his right hand rises in a gesture for his brother-in-law to approach. Emmett happily takes the step, and Jasper embraces the huge figure. Peeking behind the massive shoulder, he glares straight into my eyes, and then surprises me with a wink.

His voice is low, an almost inaudible whisper: "I already love him, Emm. You can't imagine just how much I love him." His eyes stay fixed on mine, and his voice grows louder. "Can't wait to hold him in my arms." As if in slow motion, a corner of his upper lip rises in a sad smile. He never breaks eye contact with me while his right hand shows the sign of a telephone receiver behind Emmett's back, and his mouth forms a silent "Call me".

_Well, shoot me. _One moment I'm wrestling with the thought he's seeing someone, and in the next, hope is blooming.

Emmett pats Jasper's back in a friendly manner. "Come on, folks, let's move. Edward, you coming?"

"I don't think so, Emm."

Out in the lobby, I tell him I'm tired and heading home. I watch the two figures recede towards the stairs, and the only thought in my head is now I'm really going out for a gulp of the precious fresh air.

I didn't have the chance to see little Jay. Why am I not bothered by the fact that I didn't welcome the little fellow into the world? What kind of best friend does that?

It's a long way to my home, but I decide to take my time and walk. I need to think.

So, is he seeing someone, or isn't he? His "what if" makes me an optimist. What was he trying to tell me, then? Was I pushing too much?

I hate the "what if's".

_What if _he's really dating another man? Or a woman? _What if _he hates me, after I involuntarily killed a human being? It just dawned on me that Jasper might think of me as of a murderer. Maybe I'm a monster in his eyes. But he told me he wasn't totally indifferent, didn't he?

And what was that "Call me" thing? Why can't _he _call me? Why did he need to give me hope? Being his mercurial self, he even managed to make me believe he was addressing _me_ while he whispered in Emmett's ear. _Shit_, _I'm pathetic_.

It's a dark and cold evening, and this is not a pleasant walk. I regret the idea of not taking a cab; my mood is sinking. Disappointment and hope, jealousy and love, confusion and determination, all rush through my mind in succession._ Oh Jasper, why are you doing this to me? I'm not calling. You should_ _call me._

And my cellphone sings the tune of an incoming message. I'm quick to pull it out of my pocket, and see that a call has gone to voicemail. I must have lost signal.

My heart leaps in my throat and my hands are trembling, and not because of the cold. Anticipating Jasper's beautiful voice, I'm seriously shaken by the words I hear. It's a message from my shrink.

"Hi, uhm, Edward. It's me, Carlisle Cullen. I know I'm not supposed to use this number, but I think it's an urgent matter. So, well, please contact me as soon as possible. An acquaintance of yours has been released from jail today. The bad news is, one of the nurses overheard your name being mentioned, and not in a good way. So, uhm, yes, call me, Edward."

I find the number immediately.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns the original characters.

**Special thanks to: **Nancy, Lotty, Loopy Lou and Vanya. I'll never get tired of showing my gratitude!

I am totally impatient, so I'm posting another chapter for today. Please, tell me about your feelings after you read J's POV.

**A Message From My Shrink**

**Chapter 4**

**~Jasper's POV~**

"Dad, please, come on. Give me the bottle, damn it!"

The old son of a bitch is clutching the water bottle as if his life depends on his ability to smash plastic. Maybe he believes so, who knows. I hardly make him answer any questions, and by the way, I'm not really interested in his response. I let him play with the bottle as long as he likes, and I have no intention of asking him why he does that, the clutching.

Why would I bother, anyway? The annoying noise of the plastic, rolling in Dad's hand, is a minor trouble in my life that is now full of shit. Literally. Right at the moment, _that _awful smell fills the air in Dad's room, and I begin the procedure of making him understand that we're changing diapers. Meaning, he needs to be undressed without a fight and taken to the bathroom - which is really hard when the person is not cooperating. I usually undress him while he is laying in his bed, leaving only the stinking diaper to be taken off in the bathroom. A regularly working shit producing machine, that's what my dad is. The Major's gone; all that is left is this shell.

"Rise and shine, Mister, come on. Let's take those trousers off. Leave the goddamn bottle beside the pillow, you can have it again later. Come on." A tiny spark of common sense makes him cooperate, thank goodness.

The splaying water coming out from the shower head washes the brown substance, but not the stench.

"Come, Dad, let's take you back to your bottle." I help him get dressed, then put his current favorite toy back in his hand.

"Water."

"That's right, Dad, it's water." _For the fifteenth time today, you jerk._

He's annoying as hell, goddamnit. I'm thankful he doesn't hear the names I call him. Babysitting the remains of the Major has long grown on me, but there's nothing I can do, because I owe him.

That's what Mom says. "It was _your _friend who crashed the chair, not mine. You take your responsibility for the people you invite." I have asked her a few times, "Why didn't you pick that chair up, Mom? Why'd you leave it there in the Major's way?" And she answers, "It was God's will."

I can never come to terms with her idea; why one is Edward's fault, and the other, God's will. But Mom is not a person to give a reasonable answer to matters referring to God.

And in God, I don't trust. If there was God, my boy would never have been in that accident. If there was God, we would be inseparable. If there was God, Edward would not have been taken away from me.

I do believe in the Devil, and the Devil lives within me. That's why I ruin everything I touch. It's been clear to me for eighteen months now that I'm only worthy of dealing with Dad's shit, That's why I've encouraged Rosalie to move in with Emmett, and Mom to travel a lot. And I should never approach Edward again, of course. He's a heavenly creature, and should not be in contact with something as rotten as I.

Dad is happily hugging his bottle, whispering some meaningless crap to it. The lucky bastard has no worries in this world.

The vibration of the ringing cell makes him jump a little, but he's easily distracted by something else. Taking a quick glimpse at the screen, I see it's Emmett.

"The baby's coming, Jasper, I think you should hurry."

I grab the first clean tee and pair of jeans in sight, and rush for the bathroom to wash away the stench. A quick shower, then I'm getting dressed and see I haven't picked underwear. Who cares? It's not like I'm gonna give a report to someone for my clothing, and no one will see, of course.

It's when I stretch my hand out to open the bathroom door that it hits me. Emmett might have called his best friend, too. No matter how hard I've been avoiding _him_, I've always known that someday we will have to meet. Now, he's out of jail, and he won't miss the happy occasion. Of course he will be there.

Shit.

Fuck.

Fuck me.

I'm not going.

I tell Mom to go to the hospital, and instruct her to explain I'm stuck here with Dad. The sound of her key in the door lock when she leaves rings in my head like a bell. Dang, dang, am I losing my chance to see my beautiful boy one last time?

With every passing minute, my heart beats faster. Two hours later, my dad is asleep and quietly snoring in his bed, and the Devil inside me has come up with a plan. I should go, and I should act as if _he_ means nothing to me. Playing cold, that's my game, but I have to see him.

It's like in a scary book. He bumps into me again, and throws up over my white shirt as soon as I enter the hospital. Like a clutch in the Matrix; nothing happens without a reason in this world, and I take this as a sign that I have a chance to replay that fatal night with Edward. This time, I'm gonna act as if I'm not at all interested, and I think I will get even with Fate. All clear, an entirely different path to go. My boy will go his way, unstained.

"Should have known better than use a white shirt again," I say, and believe I'm doing it right. I hope he doesn't feel the invisible fist squeezing my throat, forcing the words out of my mouth even harsher than I intended. I barely look at him, hoping my expression looks empty enough.

But he's acting weird. He's lost control of his limbs and stays rooted to the spot, even when I warn him he's in some lady's way. Something must be wrong with Edward; I can't believe I have this effect on him, not anymore. I'm sure he hates me. I can't help but touch the silky skin of his chin and look him in the eye. I need to search for an answer there, and I find it - he still loves me. He follows when I head to the rest room to discard the shirt. Stupid boy, he doesn't understand that I'm evil, that I'm the monster who has ruined his life, that my love has been a curse to him. I'm going crazy by the sound of his following steps, by his closeness.

I can see he's losing it when I take my shirt off. Shit, I must think of a way to make him understand I'm rotten. I speak nonsense to him, telling him I'm not going back into his world. I try to make him believe I'm seeing someone else. My heart shatters into a million pieces when I see the look in his eyes, and the Devil inside me whispers that I should hug him, comfort him, kiss him, and take his breath away. I'm doing none of it, but I feel like I may faint from the effort to restrain myself.

When Emmett appears, it's like getting suddenly sober. That man I can hug without regrets, and I use the opportunity to use him as a column to lean against before I'm down to the floor on my weak knees. Once again, the mere presence of Edward has driven me insane. I'm keeping to my decision and trying to be cool, but I use the chance to speak the words forming in my head, with the only difference that they are not directed to the right person. Edward has shown his ability to read my mind, and he'll understand. Or maybe not?

I'm confused, and I'm sure he is, too. I've made a total mess of today's meeting. We can't part ways like this, not without one final conversation. I know I've deleted his number, so I motion for him to call me. I'm already planning our next conversation. He should know about the Devil.

We will meet soon, I believe.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns the original characters.

**Special thanks to: **Nancy, Lotty, Loopy Lou and Vanya, for holding my hand!

**A Message From My Shrink**

**Chapter 5**

**~Jasper's POV~**

When you hold a baby in your arms, the rest of the world disappears. Little Jay is an immaculate creature, and I'm shaken to my core by the thought that he will carry my name. Emmett is right; their child is perfect. The smell, the peachy smoothness of the skin, even the glaze of drying tears on his eyelashes, everything about him makes my heart swell. He's a breathing, sleeping piece of treasure. Nothing on this planet is so beautiful, not even my gorgeous sister.

I try to caress his face, but the pad of my finger is larger than his cheek, so I gently brush the tip of his nose and place a tender kiss on his furry blonde hair. Oh, the smell. Somehow, I am sure I'm not going to wake him, and I'm not going to drop him, not ever. This is my precious nephew, and I'm going to be his guardian, friend, and most amazing uncle as long as I live. _I wish you all the luck in this world, little one, and I'll always be there for you._

I float down the hospital corridor. I'm mesmerized and proud, but I'm also a bit sad now. This is something I'll never have, the joy of having my own son. Not only because I'll never have a wife, but because I'm wise enough to never plant the Devil's seed. No child should inherit my demonic nature.

Out in the street, I lean against the trunk of a tree and let the tears spill down my cheeks. The wind makes them ice cold, and I'm engulfed by the feeling of this coldness slicing my skin. It's hurtful, but refreshing at the same time, and kind of awakening. I realize for the hundredth time I don't deserve any kind of happiness.

Why the hell do I love Edward so much? Why the hell do I feel I can't breathe without him? Why am I so weak?

The Matrix clutches for me again, and a cab stops right in front of me. From the inside, the driver stares at me intently for several seconds while I make up my mind and climb in.

"Where to, Mister?"

I give Edward's address without a second thought. After a several minute drive, we're very close to his place. Before we take the last turn, I see him, standing motionless in the dark street. He's pressing his cell to his ear with one hand, the other buried in his messy bronze hair. I immediately stop the cab and jump out.

"What's wrong, Edward, why are you here?"

He seems startled by my question.

"No, why are _you_ here, Jasper?"

"We need to talk."

"You're right, we do. But not right now, please."

_Not right now? But when?_

"What's wrong, Edward?"

He squares his shoulders, and his brows rise in a challenge.

"You're asking me what's wrong? How dare you!"

"No, wait, Edward. You have to listen to me, please."

"Okay. Are you dating someone or aren't you? That's the only thing I need to know right now."

"I'm not."

"Then why the hell did you... no, wait, don't answer. We're not starting this. Give me a minute."

He presses a button on his cell and brings it to his ear, holding it long enough to realize the person on the other side is not answering.

"Shit. He probably didn't hear it."

I stand still and wait for his next move. He's amazingly beautiful, his cheeks pink from the cold air, his lips dark red and pursed. There's a hole in his sleeve which I find fascinating.

He's trembling.

"You're cold, Edward."

"I am. Aren't you? You're naked under that jacket."

_No, I'm not cold. I'm burning_. "I'm okay. Do you want to go somewhere? I can walk you home. Maybe you can even invite me in?"

"Oh. Sure. Let's move."

Okay, not the type of meeting I had in mind. At least we're walking side by side until we reach the entrance to the building. We stop, and he pushes his hand in his pocket for the key. In this very moment, his cell buzzes, playing a merry tune. Edward hastily shoves the key in my hand and answers.

"Yes, Doctor." I hear the person on the other line speak for a good couple of minutes, and Edward's expression changes from disturbed to horrified, his eyes wide open. He stretches his hand and holds mine in a cold grasp, nodding to the empty street and throwing occasional glimpses my way. He's so frightened of what he hears that he doesn't notice I've embraced him. "Yes, Doctor, I see, okay. Thank you."

"I'm not safe here. There's a man who wants to kill me." His voice echoes in the empty street.

Before I have the chance to respond, crazy laughter breaks the silence, and a scarred face appears from my behind.

"Oh, the lovebirds in a hug. Aren't you pretty?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns the original characters.

**Special thanks to: **Loopy Lou, Lotty, and Nancy, I can't believe how wonderful you are. Vanya, you know what I want to tell you.

**A/N** To my readers: This chapter will only make sense if you have read the Vulture Gang Outtake.

**A Message From My Shrink**

**Chapter 6**

~Edward's POV~

"Aro."

"Edward, what a lovely surprise. I assume this is Jasper?"

I leave his question unanswered.

Aro is standing on my left side, with Jasper to his right. This is the first time we've seen each other since the attack, as we were separated upon the prison authorities' decision. With the street lamp behind him, I cannot see his face very clearly, but there is enough light for the scar on his face to be outlined. The spot where the iron hit him is dark red and covered with scorched skin. It marks his left cheek and reaches the ear.

Sensing my curiosity, Aro hisses and takes in a whistling breath. "That's right, Edward. Take a good look. This is what you have to pay for. Now, to be precise. I feel blessed for the opportunity to have you two together, so your angelic sweetheart is going to pay first, and you will watch".

Aro's left hand points to Jasper's waist then, where the glistening tip of a very large knife is pressed against the leather. My love is taken hostage for something that he doesn't even know has happened..

"You bastard..." My words fail me. The only thought in my head is that I'm totally useless. With his next move, Aro steps behind Jasper and puts an arm around his neck.

"Leave him alone!" Terror conquers me..

"Uh-oh, who said you could speak? Shut up and move. There, behind the building. You're going to die in silence, Edward, but not before you see what I can do to your lovely boy. Am I clear?" He demonstrates the seriousness of his intentions by moving the blade to Jasper's throat.

I am petrified. My boy looks furious, but doesn't utter a word.

"Let me see you move now."

I obey, walking the several yards into the dark alley around the building very slowly. I don't even know how I manage to make my legs carry my body; they weigh a ton. Left foot, right foot, left foot... I hear Aro's quiet chuckle, and strain my ears to catch the sound of Jasper's breathing, but I can't. I can only distinctly hear two sets of feet walking as slow as I am. They follow me into the alley. The street lamp light is far behind me.

"Okay, stop." Aro's command echoes in the darkness. "You can turn now. Watch me end something that I have only started with you." Again, I obey and turn toward his voice.

The knife is still pressing against my love's neck. Aro forces him forward until Jasper's face is pressed into the wall of the building.

"Feet at shoulder width." Aro kicks Jasper's ankle. "Let's show pretty Edward what insults are," he kicks his other ankle, "and what humiliation is." The blade moves to Jasper's flawless face. "And then we will show him what it means to be marked."

I can't help but shout, "You freak, leave him alone! He hasn't done anything to you!"

"One more word, and I'll stab this beauty right now."

Aro doesn't stop smiling when he turns his head back to Jasper. "Now doll, let's see what we have here." His disgusting hand crawls under Jasper's leather jacket, and I know what he finds there-naked velvet skin, probably covered in goosebumps. _My boy is cold, _a thought comes from nowhere_, my precious boy is cold. _The tears roll uncontrollably down my cheeks. I see Aro's hand move up and down under the leather material.

"Hands against the wall, doll. You feel so nice."

Jasper's face and palms are now pressed against the bricks. One of Aro's hands still threatens my boy's face with the knife, and the other leaves his chest and slides to his ass.

"My my, who's going commando? I'm ready for your tight hole, kinky boy." In one rushed movement, Aro pulls at Jasper' pants. I hear the sound of the material tearing, and see the skin of his lower back, pale white in the darkness. The vulture's hand slides down, and my insides turn.

The scream that comes out of my throat startles the three of us.

"Nooooo! Don't touch him!" And in the blink of an eye, I'm beside Aro, grabbing the knife. The blade cuts through my palm, blood splattering all over Jasper's jacket and Aro's coat. I don't even feel the pain; rage blinds me, and I more sense than actually see my enemy's movement.

My knee finds his groin, and my good hand grasps a chunk of hair. I kick again, harder, and he howls. _No, not enough, I'll beat the shit out of you, you fucking freak! _Restraining his head low by pulling his hair, I aim at his jaw with my knee. The knife is on the ground; Aro tries to get hold of it. I kick the goddamn thing towards Jasper.

"Pick it up," I command. Jasper listens to me for a change. He bends, snatches the knife, and points it to Aro's throat.

"Get lost, fuckin' son of a bitch! I'm calling the police!" I shout, but I'm lying. No way the police are asking questions about Jasper and I. Especially if it's Bella's father.

Aro suddenly gets loose from my grasp, and before I start to worry, he runs. His receding laughter echoes in the dark night. "I'll be back for you two," he yells, and disappears around the corner. _Maybe, but not if I find you first, you fucker._

I turn around to take a good look at my boy. Okay, I was mad at him before, but all the irritation is gone now, replaced with concern.

Jasper looks like a ghost; a ghost shaking with terror. His eyes are wild, his hands outstretched in the emptiness before him, and the knife drops to his side. He falls to his knees, and his body shakes even harder, his arms still inviting an invisible person for an embrace. He is not looking my way.

"Jasper."

He doesn't register my voice.

"Jasper, look at me, please."

Now I'm seriously worried. He still doesn't look at me. There's something terribly wrong.

I fall on my knees in front of him and find my place between his arms. The urge to hold him as close as possible is irresistable, and that's what I do. I embrace him and pull his body towards mine, nearly squeezing the air out of his lungs. Jasper sobs in my arms. His jacket is a mess, sticky with my blood. I realize he hasn't spoken a word.

I bury the fingers of my good hand in his hair, and massage his skull in an attempt to comfort him. The sobs turn into quiet whining.

"Shush, baby. Let's get you inside." I gather all my will to let go of his embrace and help him get to his feet. Still not speaking, he follows me around the building and inside, up to my apartment. Mom is not there, thank God.

We enter my room, and I help him get rid of his sticky jacket. His body is still vigorously shaking. When I ask him what's going on, the shit hits the fan.

Jasper yells at me at full blast of his lungs.

"Why didn't you run, you idiot!"

_Wow, where did this come from?_

"I had to stop him, Jasper, because I love you. It's as simple as that."

"Look at you, your hand is cut!"

"Well, that's not exactly a sacrifice. I've seen worse. Been in jail, remember?" I look at my hand, and see it has stopped bleeding. He could show some gratitude, though. With relief taking over, I giggle hysterically.

"What the hell, Edward, it's your blood. Why are you laughing?"

"At least you could thank me."

"Thank you." His rushed answer comes much more quietly, and his eyes fall to the ground.

"You're welcome. I literally saved your ass and you weren't helping."

"My ass didn't need saving, Edward. It would be better if he had stabbed me there and then and get it all over with. But I really hoped you would run. My ass is _not _worth saving; you should believe me."

"What are you talking about? You can't think of dying. I need you, silly. That's it, I need you."

Jasper gulps and stares into my eyes intently, and then puts his thumb on my cheek and gently brushes a drying tear. His face moves closer, and I feel his breath over my lips.

"Okay, Edward, I need you, too. This is stronger than me."

Our lips meet.

I've been waiting for this kiss for ages.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns the original characters.

**Special thanks to: **Loopy Lou, Lotty, Nancy, Vanya, I love you.

**A/N #1**: Death, birth, and other people's weddings. An impact with one of these always leads to incredible sex, they say.

**A/N #2**: So… lemons!

**A Message From My Shrink**

**Chapter 7**

We are completely naked under the hot jets of the shower. The water heals our beaten bodies and shattered souls. Hands are searching, lips sucking, tongues fighting, insatiable. Skin against skin, we are burning and melting, all worries washed away. My bathroom mirror reflects two bodies desperately entwined, fallen under the spell of resurfacing love and animalistic lust. Pulsating heat becomes my essence. I need to push and pull, and cry, and laugh all at the same time. Screams and whispers form in my throat; I bite my lips, I bite his lips, I caress and scratch and lick wherever I can reach. A painful feeling of something incomplete makes me hold my breath, and I realize the huge mistake I've made, expecting Jasper to command me. Today, we should be playing the game the other way around. I should be the one delivering the orders. He needs to take a rest and simply obey.

"Jasper." His eyes are closed, but I know he hears me. "On your knees, baby."

He smiles and descends to his knees. I'm right. I'm in charge now. His fingers glide over my shaft.

"Take me in your mouth."

And he does. He sends me to heaven, and I'm rendered incoherent and trembling with pleasure. The hand caressing my balls is magical, the lips gliding over the skin of my cock unreal. I forgot such pleasure exists on God's earth.

"Deeper, Jasper."

I can never get enough of this. He sucks deeper, and I'm sinking in the depths of an ocean of bliss. He looks beautiful, astounding. A breath catches in my throat; do I deserve this piece of heaven? Shit, I'm floating and losing any connection with real world. The walls, the floor, the ceiling, they don't exist. It's only the two of us, Jasper and I, discovering a new world and grabbing handfuls of its treasures.

He's on his knees, but he owns me; my baby, my love, my everything.

"Let me take you to bed and make love to you now, Jasper."

He quietly stands and gives me his hand. I lead him to the bedroom, grabbing a towel on my way. I stop him beside the bed and gently dry his skin, absorbing the droplets all over his sculpted body - some of them with the towel, and some with my lips.

"Lay down, baby."

He obeys, and watches me rub the towel over my wet skin.

Laying there on my bed is the image of perfection. The blonde curls are wet and disheveled, lips dark red from my kisses. His eyes send the message of his own desire, open wide and staring at me while my gaze travels over his perfect form and growing erection. My hand reaches for that gorgeous cock. I gently squeeze, moving my palm up and down. Jasper shivers.

"Do you want me, my love?"

"I do, Edward."

My name on those sweet lips is fantastic. I'm breathing heavily now, my need throbbing in my dick and burning inside my stomach.

"Let's get you ready, Jasper." As if I've done this all my life, I know exactly what to do to make him relax and take me in.

The sublime part of my dreams becomes reality. Slowly, very slowly, I slide my cock inside him. I'm in heaven, and this time it's for real.

"Are you alright, baby?"

_Please tell me it's alright._

"Perfect."

I can't help but push deeper.

For the next few minutes, I am lost in the sensation; in and out, in and out, every time deeper and harder. It's tight and warm, and so fucking magnificent, I'm losing my mind. Jasper's body is bending beneath mine with every thrust, and he whispers, "Harder, Edward."

And I fuck him harder - how can I refuse - the sheets crumpling with my every move.

I still can't believe this is happening, not even when my cum erupts inside him. I'm surprised to see his own cum splattered over his stomach.

His eyes are closed now, and he's hardly breathing.

"Are you really alright, baby?"

"Shut up and hug me, Edward."

Okay, enough of me making the rules. I do exactly what he says; I shut up and snuggle beside him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns the original characters.

**Special thanks to: **Nancy, Lotty, Loopy Lou and Vanya. Each of you is a different univerese and being in contact with you is special.

**A/N** I am sorry for the lack of response to the lovely comments. I cherrish each single one but RL is a bitch. Please excuse me, right now I'd really really appreciate any feedback.

**Visits With My Shrink**

**A Message From My Shrink**

**Chapter 8**

It's late in the evening; a time when most people should be sleeping, but we aren't. We are drowsy, though, when we hear Mom come home and her voice in the corridor.

"I'm back, Edward."

"Hi, Mom." I shout, and hope she won't knock and want to come in, not at this time of night.

"Do you need anything? Have you eaten?"

"Yes, Mom, I'm fine. I'm sleeping already."

"Are you dreaming of something nice, baby?" I chuckle. That's been a joke since my childhood.

"I am, Mom. Good night."

"Night, baby. I'm going to sleep, too."

I lazily cuddle up to the body beside me. _More than nice, and not a dream_.

Jasper runs a finger over the tip of my nose and smiles his half smile.

"We didn't think of that, did we? What happens when she sees me in the morning?"

"Let's deal with that when the time comes. You know what? I think I'm going to introduce you."

He keeps quiet for a few moments. "Oh. Well, you're brave."

"I'm not brave, just being selfish. I actually want to tell the whole world you're here with me. I don't want to hide you. It hurts."

I don't know if he likes the idea. Instead of giving me a hint as to what he's thinking, he kisses me. _Well, that might be a hint._ His lips are more intoxicating with every passing second. Before I get lost again, a painful memory flashes through my mind.

"Jasper, have you heard of the Japanese art of suicide? They stick a knife into their intestines and draw a triangle. The Samurai is alive for quite a long time after performing the act, and holds his spilling insides in his hands while he dies."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I think I know exactly what they experience. I felt it when you made me believe you were meeting someone else. Don't ever do that to me again, okay?"

"Okay. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Edward."

"Apology accepted."

I put my arm around his shoulder while my head rests on the pillow, my nose nuzzling against his neck. He smells good. Smells of my love.

"Will you tell me now why you acted like that? You're always weird. Not that I don't like you, but your actions give me whiplash."

"Can we talk another time? I'm in a different mood right now."

_Sure he is. I gave him a fucking amazing blowjob a few minutes ago._

His thumb breezes over my nipple, and I try to look annoyed.

"Uhm, no. Not another time. I want to hear it now. Sometimes I think I don't know you at all. I don't want to make love to a stranger. You can continue with this thing that you're doing with your thumb, but please talk."

"Fine. If that's what you want."

He slightly lifts his body, bending an elbow and resting his head on his palm. Now he's looking at me from above, his stare intense. An alert of something unpleasant creeps over my skin, amplified by the straight lines he draws over my chest with the nail of his index finger.

"I'm going to ruin your life, Edward, and some day, both our hearts will be broken. That's what I'm made of."

He tells me about his Devil. He tells me he believes he's the reason I killed a person and spent time in jail, and he's paying his dues by taking care of his father. He also blames himself for the fact that somebody is after me trying to end me. None of these makes sense.

"How do you manage to cope with all those ghosts in your head, Jasper?"

"I don't. I tried to protect you by avoiding you, but today I finally gave up. I can't stay away from you anymore. That's why I'm here, but I'm terrified."

"Of what?"

"Don't you see? I'm a curse to you. As long as this lasts between us, you're in constant danger. You're in love with a monster, Edward. I should not be sleeping in your bed; I should hide under it. That's where monsters belong."

"Okay, stop it."

"Why, Edward? You asked, remember? Do you want me to stop exposing my real self? Maybe I should recite poetry? Tickle you with pink feathers? That won't change anything. Nothing good will come out of this. Of us. We can't be happy. I can't be happy."

"Maybe I can teach you to be happy. Maybe I can show you how happy I am and make you forget your crazy notion."

_Or maybe I should arrange a meeting between Jasper and Dr. Cullen._

"I don't think you can do anything, Edward."

"But you will stay with me and not try to disappear from my life this time, right?"

"Right."

"That's enough for now. Let's sleep."

He rests his head over the pillow beside me.

"Let's sleep."

We kiss, and I make myself comfortable in his arms before my mind drifts away. My last thought is about my mom. I wonder if she'll be up when he leaves for work early in the morning.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns the original characters.

**Special thanks to: **Nancy, Lotty, Loopy Lou and Vanya.

**Very Special thanks to: **

All of you who have reviewed. I am sorry I haven't replied personally to your lovely comments. My internet access is close to zero lately, please excuse me. I love you.

Those who favorite the story or put it on alert, thank you so much, too.

**A Message From My Shrink**

**Chapter 9**

Ah, a wake up kiss and cuddling. My cock twitches. _Good morning, morning wood, haven't seen you for a while._ I need to check something within arm's reach. Yep, _he_'s hard too.

"Do we have time to greet the new day properly, my love?" I ask, while gliding my hand over his arousal.

"What time is it?"

I look at the clock and instantly hate it. I need all day with him. Lots of days. And nights.

"Almost seven."

"Shit."

"Shit, as in you have to go right now? Didn't you tell me you start at nine?"

"Yep, but I gotta go see Dad first."

"Isn't your mom with him?"

"Nope, she'll be with Rosalie and the baby. I have to run. Give me a kiss."

"Jasper, wait."

He holds still, his hand resting on my cheek.

"What is it?"

"I wonder… Why do you never tell me that you love me, baby? I know you do."

"I'm not romantic."

He jumps on his feet, reaches for his pants, and then freezes.

"Uhm, Edward. I need some clothing."

We're almost the same size, so I lend him a pair of jeans, which makes me ecstatic. And they fit perfectly. _Gorgeous ass. Holy shit, does my ass look that good in those jeans?_

Somewhere in the kitchen, a piece of cutlery falls on the floor, reminding me of my bravery from last night. Well, I'm not so brave right now, and my stomach is in knots. As if sensing my hesitation, Jasper grabs my hand and makes the first step, leading me out.

"Well then, seems I'm staying a bit longer. We're together in this, Edward. Now we're going to eat breakfast with your Mom." he states, leaving no room for argument.

"Thank you," I whisper. "I have no idea what she'll think of you. I mean, of you and me, being together."

"You sure you wanna tell her?"

"I'm sure."

"Let's go then."

Being in her early forties, Mom is an energetic and still goodlooking woman. When we enter the kitchen, she's bending over the trash bin, using a fork to scrape in some leftovers. She snaps her head towards us.

"Morning, Mom." I gulp.

She jumps upright and narrows her eyes.

"Morning, son. And who might this be?" The fork is now pointing at Jasper.

"Mom, sit down please, and drop that fork."

She raises her chin, still clutching the fork with one hand and the plate with the other.

"You have something to tell me?"

"Yep."

"I'm not sitting. Just speak."

I don't know the right way to deliver this kind of information, so I go with a simple statement.

"Mom, this is Jasper and he's my boyfriend. I want you to know that I'm gay."

The plate crashes to the floor, followed by the fork. My mother hides her face in her palms. I can't see her expression, and she doesn't make a sound.

"Mom, say something."

She quietly shakes her head, her face still buried in her palms. A tiny whimper makes its way through her pursed lips, and I assume I've disappointed her. Again.

"At least you're not attacking me with cutlery," I blurt. "Jasper, let's get out of here, she's not serving us breakfast." He starts for the door, and I follow.

I've been hoping for approval and support, of course I have, but deep inside, I've always known she's not the kind of person to accept things out of the ordinary. I should have known she would be hurt by the thought that her son is a convict _and_ homosexual. With every step toward my escape, I am more convinced I've lost my Mom forever. _No pain, no gain. _I bitterly dwell on my conclusion. I have Jasper, but Mom will reject me.

"Edward. Wait, dear."

There's that moment of realization that you've misjudged a loss and it turns out to be a victory. There's so much love in her voice, it makes me weak in the knees. I turn slowly and she graces me with a smile. Oh, I love my mother. She runs her fingers over her tear stained cheeks and nods her head.

"It's a bit unexpected, but I'm happy for you. Come, give me a hug."

Jasper is somewhere behind me when I approach my mom. I hear him sighing, and imagine his half smile. _I can have it all. I'm somebody's lover and somebody's dear son at the same time._ I'm so relieved, it feels like I'm flying. I embrace my Mom's slim figure as gently as I'm able.

"Thank you, Mom. Thank you."

She sobs, her face pressed to my shoulder.

"Calm down, Mom, please. I want you to know that I love him and he loves me back."

She breaks the embrace and looks questioningly at Jasper.

"Do you promise to take good care of my boy, Jasper? Do you really love him?"

He answers in a calm and steady voice.

"I do, Ma'am. I love him with all my heart."

Breakfast is a blur. I can't catch a word of their conversation. Mom asks questions, Jasper answers, and I swim in my ocean of happiness. Too soon, they stand up and announce they have to be leaving. I kiss them goodbye; Mom first, and then my love. I take my time in the kitchen, tidying up and washing dishes with trembling hands.

_He loves me, with all his heart._

When back in my room, the first thing I spot is the display of my forgotten cell phone, illuminated by the sign of a missed call.

**A/N**: Hopefully I'll be back with another chapter next week. It will be second to last, can you imagine!


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns the original characters.

**Special thanks to: **Nancy, Lotty, Loopy Lou and Vanya, you're amazing.

**A Message From My Shrink**

**Chapter 10**

"Doctor, sorry, I didn't hear your call. What's the matter, is everything alright?"

"The question is, are you alright, Edward?"

"Well yes, I'm actually perfect now. But I did have an accident last night. Aro attacked. We got rid of him, for now."

"Who's 'we', Edward? Do you mean, you and Jasper have -"

"You won't believe it... he loves me."

"Oh, yes, I believe it." I hear his distant chuckle. "I'm not surprised at all. What I'm surprised about is the timing of Aro's appearance. He stepped in too quickly. Are you both unhurt?"

"I just got a small cut to my palm, but it's healing already. It's the other hand, not the same that was burned. I'll be fine, it's barely visible today. I think Jasper needs help, though, and I mean your help, Doctor. That's one disturbed soul."

"I will do whatever I can to assist you, both of you. I feel useless sitting here, and I'm concerned about you, son. I'm not being professional, I know. Anyway, what I was calling about was to tell you the prison guards found a huge collection of your belongings hidden in the walls of Aro's last cell. When did you lose so many things?"

I don't exactly recall many things missing; a sock or two, several newspapers, a book, a toothbrush. Nothing that seemed out of the ordinary.

"There shouldn't be anything important, Doctor, not that I can think of."

"You couldn't be more wrong, young man. It's not the items, it's their quantity that matters. There's plenty of useless stuff you probably wouldn't notice missing. There are even rotten leftovers from your food and a few tissues that you used to blow your nose."

"Felix. He's the connection."

"Right, Felix. Turns out, Aro had even more powers within the prison walls. Someone was giving Felix access to the Northern prison wing. Guards there seem to have been under Aro's command, but we don't know who or how many. An investigation into Aro is starting today, and any information about his whereabouts will be helpful. Call me, or the police, if you see him again. Don't be brave anymore, please. The man is dangerous, powerful, and he hates you. Promise to call before you try to stand up to him."

"I can't promise you that. He had taken Jasper hostage before I could react. I have no idea what might happen next time."

"Any guesses as to where he might have gone?"

"Not at all. He said he would be back for us."

"And where's your man right now?"

"He left... Jesus, do you think he might... oh, my!"

I hear Dr. Cullen yelling a flow of words while I ended the connection. I'm out of the house in seconds, putting on a jacket while I'm on the run, my sneakers untied. A cab is waiting in the middle of the street for an old lady to pull a bag from the backseat. As I approach, I grab the leather handles and toss the luggage into the lady's hands, leaving her startled and furious, using words inappropriate for her age.

"Drive," I shout to the driver, giving him Jasper's address, "I'll pay double if you're there in five minutes." While the car speeds through the streets toward my goal, I debate with myself if I should call for help, or the police. This might be a false alarm, and I don't want to make people panic unnecessarily. Though I don't really believe Aro has been waiting all night outside my apartment only to follow my boy in the morning, there is a chance he has done exactly so. Call me a fool; I dial Emmett's number and tell him where I'm heading and to be there as soon as possible

We're there in six minutes, but I generously still pay double, trying to not be a jerk. Money is irrelevant to my worries-it can't pay my boy's way out of the situation I'm picturing..

The door to Jasper's condo is ajar, a sign something is not exactly right. Anticipating the worse of my fears coming true clenches my guts. I step inside, and the first thing I hear is the ugly laughter nailed in my memories from last night. Was it that recent? It seems like ages since we lost Aro from our sight, his figure receding in the darkness of yesterday's cold evening.

I try to be quiet, pushing my legs one before the other. I press my back to the wall like I've seen them do in the movies. I have no idea why they do that when the person is known to be in another part of the premises. It's fear of the unknown, I realize, that presses your back to a wall and makes you want to be invisible, to stay unharmed, although you're willing to sacrifice yourself for your cause. My cause is my boy's safety, and I take babysteps inside the apartment, praying to the Lord I'm quiet enough.

The laughter comes from a room to the left. Three feet more and I'm right in front of the door. This one is ajar too, but I see no movement from where I'm standing.

Okay, I've seen this lots of times in the movies. I can do it. I'm not holding a gun; I'm only armed with love and fear - strong enough that I can overcome anybody on Earth. It's my love in there, and no one will stand in my way.

My shoulder pushes the door to the inside of the room exactly on time to see Aro's leg trip over a half-empty, squashed water bottle. A gun in his hand is pointed at Jasper's stomach, but while falling, he uses the same hand to push himself from the bed to his right. In this bed, the Major is watching the scene, his eyes open wide in childish dismay. The gun in Aro's hand seems now to be slipping and firing straight to the Major's chest, when Jasper swings and ducks, taking the shots with his upper body.

Before I'm able to make a move, Jasper's hand snatches the gun and shoots Aro in the eye.

Brains, blood, and unrecognizable substances stain the white sheets.

My lungs fight for air, the stench of rust and shit overcoming every reasonable thought.

The last thing I hear is Emmett's booming voice.

"Damn, you've got a mess here," he says, and I lose focus.

**A/N to my lovely readers:** This is the moment where you should ask all your questions. Next comes the Epilogue.

Thank you all for the beautiful comments. I'm really surprised by the number of people who favorite and follow, and really really grateful for the reviews.


	11. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns the original characters.

**Special thanks to: **Nancy, Lotty, Loopy Lou, Vanya - I am sending all my love to you.

**A/N:** To my precious readers: Thank you for sticking with this story. You are amazing.

**A Message From My Shrink**

**Epilogue**

"Lay still, baby, we've called for help. Just stay with me, do you hear me? Do you hear me, Jasper, baby? Look at me! Look at me, please! Don't close your eyes, baby, please don't! Please! That's right, baby."

_He's so beautiful, my angel._

The apartment is suddenly filled with blurred figures in uniforms. They're taking me somewhere. My hands are cuffed behind my back, and someone is grabbing my elbow, pulling roughly. My feet follow the lead; I'm out on the curb, then they help me drag my legs into a car.

"He's gonna be fine, believe me," Emmett's words echo in my mind. "I'll be waiting for your explanations later."

_Why are they taking me away from my love?_

The car pulls abruptly to a stop in front of a grey building, and they drag me out and push me toward the entrance. More figures in uniforms appear around me. I see Emmett a few feet ahead. Someone forces him through a door to the left.

They open another door in front of me, and I step inside a small dark room. Someone pushes me to sit on a chair. Bright electric light suddenly flashes from the ceiling, rendering me blind for a few seconds. The door closes with a crash behind my back.

_I'm all alone now. The world has abandoned me._

Slowly, very slowly, the images before my eyes become clear, the blur giving up to painful awareness. I'm in the police station. I'm separated from the person that means the world to me, and he's probably dying somewhere out there.

I howl toward the ceiling, hoping the non-existent god up there hears me.

_You did it, bastard. You've managed to destroy me._

Then they enter the room, two men in suits. One uncuffs my hands, and the other shoves a sheet of paper in my face.

"Sorry for the little inconvenience, Mr. Masen. Now, do you recognize this?"

I take the piece of paper, and see my name and address written on it. The handwriting looks familiar.

"That's my name and where I live."

"Any idea why this was in Mr. Aristhoteles Vaughan's pocket?"

"I don't know the person."

"Right. You know him by the name of Aro, though."

"Oh, shit. Yes. Right. Let me see."

I take a second look and recognition hits me.

Dr. Cullen's diligent handwriting cannot be mistaken. I've seen my name written on his schedule board tens of times.

I let the stinging tears of anger pool in my eyes.

~""~

Mrs. Whitlock is all dressed in black and stands motionless beside the gravestone, her eyes running over the granite surface. She has stopped crying, only the wet handkerchief in her hand a reminder of the flood of tears I witnessed minutes ago. She cries a lot, every time we're here.

The huge lettering, 'Jasper Whitlock' in gold, is clearly seen from where I am standing. I've been here with Jasper's mom every day since the funeral, and although two weeks have passed, it still pierces my heart to see the name.

"Come, Marie, let's go. We'll come visit him tomorrow again."

She has moved in with Rosie and Emmett, and that's where I tell the taxi driver to leave us. I hold the door while she enters the building and kiss her gently on the cheek. Emm waves from the window when I lift my head up before I walk away.

It's good to know he's still my friend, after I told him everything about my feelings for his brother-in-law. And Rose, she just said she knew long ago.

~""~

"Mr. Masen?"

"Speaking." I wonder who might be calling from a blocked number.

"Chief Swan here."

"Oh, sorry, Sir. Your name wasn't showing. Any news?"

"Well yes, that's why I'd like to ask you to stop by the precinct as soon as possible."

It's a short walk, and twenty minutes later, I'm sitting in Chief Swan's office.

"We need some more help from you, son."

"What now, more statements?"

"Not exactly, just one question. Have you heard of Esme Cullen?"

"Um, no, never. Is she related to Dr. Cullen?"

"Yes, that's his wife."

"He has never spoken of her. But we haven't been exactly chatting about his life, you know. He was my shrink; I was the one who did the speaking, and he listened."

"It's understandable. Okay, I can tell you what we know about him now – and about his wife. She's a drug addict, and he's been trying to help her get clean for years, but has been unsuccessful. He has been hiding his wife's addiction, refusing to send her to a suitable institution for treatment. Our acquaintance, Aro, has been blackmailing him, threatening to expose his secret to the authorities and ruin his reputation as a psychologist. Anyway, he's under arrest now, and we're pressing charges against him for being Aro's accomplice."

"Shit."

"Language, son."

"Sorry, Sir. I liked him." I still cannot bring myself to hate him. He's a good doctor, for shit's sake. If I'm sane, it's because of him. "You do what you have to do, but _I'm_ not pressing charges against him, Chief. If I were in his place, I would have done the same." _I would go through anything to protect my love._

~""~

"Mom, where are my keys?"

"How the hell would I know, Edward? You calm down and check your pockets again."

"Shit, I'm gonna be late, Mom. They're not on me, help me find them."

Mom steps closer, putting her hand in my pocket. Then she takes it out, waving the keychain in front of my eyes.

"See? You're going nuts, that's it."

"I just can't wait to be there, Mom."

"I know, son, I know. Come on, you can go now. Send him my love."

"I always do, Mom. Bye."

"Goodbye, Edward." She smiles and closes the door behind me.

I'm in a hurry to get to the hospital exactly on time for the visiting hour. I'm not a relative, they say, so I can't stay with him all the time. They kick me out every day, not letting me stay a single minute more than the common visitors are allowed. They don't understand what the moments with him mean to me; time passes by so quickly.

I spend every second of that precious hour holding his hand, mindful of the IV. The ticking of the machines is soothing, his even breathing calming me down. Someone has told me that he hears everything, although he looks asleep. I'm already used to my monologues, telling him about Rose, Emm and little Jay, about our everyday visits to the Major's grave, about his mom's inexplicable grief. I speak a lot about my love and my longing for him.

It's a great day today. A nurse tells me they will take him out of the induced coma tomorrow. Everything seems to be working normally with his lungs, and he'll be hopefully breathing by himself without a problem in just a few days.

_They'll wake him up. I will see the astounding azure of his eyes again._

"That's it, my love." I caress the pale skin on his cheek. "I'll meet you tomorrow."

I'm not able to speak to him as I usually do. Tears are streaming down my face.

My hour is up. The nurse comes in again, signaling it's time for me to go. I pick up the bag of clothes for cleaning, and pass her the new ones to change him. Just before I leave, I take a step back and grab the shirt from her hands, unfolding it to take a look at the lettering.

"Dream big," it reads.

I leave the room, taking my memories and my dreams with me. My heart pounds vigorously in my chest. The time for my dreams to come true is coming.

The End.

**A/N**: So, my sweet darlings, let me hear your thoughts.


	12. Chapter 12

**Merry Christmas!**

**This is my gift for you today - a glimpse in the future, enjoy.**

I'm sending all my love to Nancy, Lou, Lotty, and Vanya - thank you ladies. You're miraculous.

**A Message From My Shrink**

**The Futuretake**

"Stop doing that."

He puckers his lips in a mocking kiss in the air.

"Come on, get dressed for God's sake. We're gonna be late."

A wicked grin illuminates his face. Shit, I love this grin so much, I can't be mad at him.

"No, really, stop it, Jasper!"

I have to make him get out of bed and put some clothes on, but he looks so happy there. The truth is, I'd rather snuggle beside him and help him with what he's doing. Under the blanket, his hand is moving up and down.

He's dreamingly staring at me, and I'm not surprised by his invitation. "I definitely can't go like this. I won't be able to fasten my jeans. Come join me, Edward, it won't take long. What if we're ten minutes late? It'll be worth it!"

What's ten minutes, indeed. I just put my boxers on, but I let them drop back to the floor.

We're, in fact, almost half an hour late when we finally arrive at my old apartment. Mom's been waiting for us. She's baking cinnamon flavored cookies, and the whole place smells delicious. I realize I terribly miss the sight of her fussing in the kitchen, now that I don't live with her anymore. Every time we visit, she bakes for us, and it makes me regret my decision to move in with Jasper. Ah, okay, you got me there - I can't really regret my decision. It's just the thought that the only cookies we get hold of in our place are the ones we buy. And no one cooks as good as Mom. Nothing compares to the meals from one's childhood, you know.

Mom asks if we're doing alright.

Yes, we're doing alright, if you ask me.

I have a job now, with Mrs. Esme Cullen, as an assistant in her flower shop. I have another assignment, too, and that's to keep a strict eye on her when Mr. Carlisle Cullen, her partner in the enterprise, is not there. He runs errands during the day, deliveries and stuff, so I'm her guardian. Not that she needs it, actually. She's been clean as a mountain spring for the past few months.

The minute we step back into our condo, the phone rings. Marie is calling from Europe; she's now back in their house there. Seems she has good memories and nice friends who have missed her, which is good enough reason for her to choose not to stay with us.

"Are you doing alright, kids?"

What's with them? Why wouldn't we be alright?

She's on speaker phone, so she hears us both confirm that we're doing fine, and everything is wonderful.

"I miss you terribly, boys. Why don't you come visit for Christmas?"

Raising his brows, Jasper throws a questioning look my way. Reading the plea in the azure eyes, I simply can't say no. I nod.

"Okay, we're coming, Mama. We're coming."

Jasper ends the call and throws himself toward me, pushing me over an armchair and covering my face and neck with thousands of pecks, tickling and wet. He makes me laugh.

~""~

A few days later, Marie meets us at the airport with warm hugs. She's really happy to see us, and looks very different from the last time I saw her. No more black clothes; she's wearing fancy jeans and a furry white coat. She looks younger, and self-confident. We hear her explain something in the local language to a taxi driver. Then we fill his car's trunk with our luggage and take off to a place about ten miles away from the airport. When we arrive at our destination, we need to transfer everything, suitcases and our many presents, into the ugly waiting room of a small railway station. Seems we are an attraction. A bunch of dirty and scary looking people surround us and throw unashamed curious looks our way.

"Keep your wallets in the inside pockets only," Marie whispers. "Bags with valuables to stay on you. Don't leave the luggage unguarded. They are looking for something to steal."

We spend our time in the waiting room observing members of the group come and go. They pretend to be busy with conversations in a barking language, which Marie says she doesn't understand. Through the two hours of our wait, my skin is covered in goosebumps, and I stick as close to my boy as possible. When we're finally on the train, I sigh with relief.

"Jasper, was it the same the previous time you were here?"

"Yep. Did I forget to mention?" The mischievous glint in his eyes makes it clear he omitted to mention it on purpose. "I didn't want to scare you, Edward. They're no big deal when you're prepared. We might have been lucky and not see them at all."

"But we weren't lucky. That was creepy."

"Come, let me hug you. And don't fall asleep."

"Why not?"

"We should keep an eye on our luggage."

"Even inside the compartment?"

"Especially inside the compartment."

"What, don't these people have police here?"

"They do, but the police are as poor as everybody else, and ineffective."

"Shit." Then I remember Jasper's mom's presence. "Oops, sorry, Marie. How the hell do you live here?"

"It's not like this where I live. But we have to get there first."

"How much longer until we're there?"

"Three and a half hours."

Five hours later, we're still on the train, stuck in the middle of nowhere. It's night, and we can't see a single light outside, except for a lamp over the door of an old building. Marie says this is a small station, but it looks abandoned to me, cracked paint and rust everywhere. Finally, a man in uniform comes out of the building and gives the signal for everybody to come out.

It appears someone has stolen a piece of rail from the railroad. The train didn't collaps on its route thanks to a lucky coincidence. A worker noticed the missing part minutes before our train was scheduled to pass.

Now we're waiting for a bus to pick us up from this little station.

There are a million of stars above our heads. Never have I seen such a beautiful sky. I hug Jasper to avoid the cold, and whisper in his ear to raise his head and look at the mesmerizing sight.

"Have you seen anything like this before?"

"It's always like this here. You're going to love this country."

"I doubt it."

"Have some patience, please, Edward."

The bus drives us the last miles of our trip. We finally arrive at a little village, hidden in the outskirts of a snow-covered mountain. It's cold and beautiful in the night. The houses are small and some of the windows are illuminated, showing life inside. Apart from the barking of several dogs, no sound is to be heard.

We carry our luggage inside a huge two-story house belonging to Mrs. Whitlock. My jaw drops at the sight that awaits us inside.

It looks like it's come from a fairytale.

The little three-legged chairs, the wooden table of irregular form, the bright-red and green rugs. The walls are all painted white, floor to ceiling, with bunches of herbs and dried flowers seen at various places, smelling of wild forest and endless fields. A huge fireplace with a copper kettle marks the center of the room, its chimney going straight to the middle of the ceiling.

"It will keep you two warm, too," Marie says, following my curious look. "You'll be sleeping in the room right above your head. Come, let me show you."

We follow her up a wooden staircase, which squeaks at every step. Everything is old and beautiful at the same time, and I fall in love with the place. It's foreign and unique, and extremely cosy.

"Put your bags in here and make yourselves comfortable. I'll go down and start a fire." Mrs. Whitlock turns her back and leaves us in our room.

I turn my head toward Jasper, who hasn't uttered a word since we have entered the house.

"What's wrong, baby?" I'm a bit worried.

"I don't know. Do you like it here?"

"It's magnificent, Jasper."

"Thank God. I was beginning to worry. I didn't imagine our arrival to be like that."

"It's all good now that we're finally here."

I try to take a better look at the room, barely managing to see the huge bed when he sticks his lips on mine and buries his fingers in my hair.

"Thank you," he whispers, breaking the kiss. "Thank you for existing."

"What's going on, Jasper?"

"I love you. It's as simple as that."

This is the first time he's said it. I'm in heaven.

"Jasper, I'm in heaven."

"I know, my love. Me, too. Aren't you exhausted?"

I immediately feel the pain in my muscles and my eyes aching for sleep. "I am."

"Let's go down and kiss Mama goodnight, then we'll come back and test that bed." He smiles and leads me out of the room.

We wish Marie goodnight while she sticks wood in the fireplace. The burning fire has begun to warm the place, and its flames add to the feeling of belonging to a fairytale.

"We're very tired, Mama," Jasper says. "We're going to sleep."

"Aren't you hungry, boys?"

"No, Mama."

"Thanks, but no, Ma'am," we answer simultaneously. After we kiss her on the cheek, we head once more up the stairs to our room.

I get inside, and Jasper steps in after me. Then he locks the door. Once.


End file.
